Great little book I’m reading: Misbelief: What Makes Rational People Believe Irrational Things. Chapter 1’s title poses a question: “How Could That Person Believe That Thing?” It’s a question I’ve asked many times. Including a question that—to be fair—I’ve tried to interrogate myself with.
Author Dan Ariely sets up his chapter with this brilliant insight from Leo Tolstoy, from 1897:
I know that most men (sic)—not only those considered clever, but even those who are very clever and capable of understanding most difficult scientific, mathematical, or philosophic problems—can very seldom discern even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as to oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions they have formed, perhaps with much difficulty—conclusions of which they are proud, which they have taught to others, and on which they have built their lives.
When the stakes are high, in arguments and in life, even the smartest among us may struggle to “discern even the simplest and most obvious truth” if it means saying we were wrong. There are just some positions people hold—even “very clever and capable” people—that no amount of logic or clear evidence can overturn.
So what to do? Push harder? Try a back-door or softer approach? Give up? Break up?
It depends, I think, on the impact a particular bad belief could have.
If my friend believes Dunkin’ makes good coffee, he’s laughably wrong, but so what? His assessment doesn’t hurt anyone. Let him drink his coffee-water in peace.
If my colleague campaigns against vaccinations, on the other hand, I’m going to spend more time thinking about how to push back, since that colleague’s approach impacts other people. (And it is a public health issue.)
As for changing either person’s mind… I don’t know. Maybe you just can’t? Or maybe I just haven’t cracked some code of persuasion yet.
That doesn’t mean give up. It doesn’t mean don’t speak up, especially if there’s an important voice not represented in the conversation that stands to lose something or be deprived of something. In such cases I find myself more likely to labor with/against “the falsity of conclusions they have formed.”
In the meantime, nodding my head and accepting Tolstoy’s insight (if somewhat regretfully) seems like an important step.
Words on the Word 