My blogging friend Dave (who also has a daughter Junia) just blogged about pornography as a gateway drug.
Porn is not an isolated evil. It is connected to the growth of sex trafficking in our world. One thing we talk about often at meetings of Freedom and Restoration for Everyone Enslaved is that if men did not buy women, there would be no forced prostitution. Yet along with that, men do not just wake up one day and decide to buy a woman. Porn is a factor for it teaches men that women are objects to be used for his enjoyment. Like any other addiction, eventually a stronger dose is needed and stronger doses are more and more available in the form of women and girls forced into prostitution.
Read the whole thing here.
Friend and fellow blogger Jennifer has posted some great ideas for how to talk to your kids about sex. (I was asking a similar question here after my four-year-old unexpectedly asked me how did I “fertilize the egg.”)
Use correct words to identify body parts and functions. While talking about your son’s ding-dong or your daughter’s who-ha may seem cute when they are babies, it does little to help them understand what these parts are or what they do. It adds an unnecessary element of mystery and is confusing.
Read her top five here.
I wrote about (rather, against) the use of “colonizing” language to describe the sex act here and here, reacting to a recent Gospel Coalition post.
Just now Jared Wilson, author of the original post, has issued an apology. He’s even taken down the original offending post. Read his apology here.
I linked yesterday morning to a Gospel Coalition piece that has gathered a lot of attention on the Internet recently. I wrote my reply to the piece here.
Yesterday Jared Wilson, author of the original post, wrote this reply as a follow up to the first post and its many critics. I asked Jared for clarification of a few things in the comments here, and he posted a reply, if anyone wants to see it. Just click here, then search for “Abram” in the comments (as of the time of writing this I’m the seventh comment down).
UPDATE: Here’s my reply to Jared’s reply, printed in full below (left as a comment at his site). The Douglas Wilson article he mentions (to which I respond below) is here.
This morning I followed a friend’s Facebook link to a Gospel Coalition blog post. Here is the post I read. It’s hard to summarize, but the basic topic is the “good, God-honoring, and body-protecting authority and submission between husbands and wives.” That part sounds not so bad, but the blog post quotes a guy named Douglas Wilson who says:
In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party. A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts. This is of course offensive to all egalitarians, and so our culture has rebelled against the concept of authority and submission in marriage.
You can go to the post to read the quote in a bit of a fuller context, but I was still amazed to read this at a site that is usually as exegetically careful as the Gospel Coalition. Once you’ve read the initial blog post, I’ve reproduced the comment I left at that site here:
How do you talk to a four and a half-year-old about sex?
Before I had kids, I would have said… you don’t.
But then my four-year-old son started asking about whence his younger brother (and now a younger sister) came.
My wife, good science student that she is, opted for the straight-up biological explanation: There is an egg, it gets fertilized, baby grows inside mommy, baby comes out.
That held him for a little while. But then today, this conversation ensued:
4.5-year-old son: Daddy, how did you fertilize the egg?
Me (stammering): Uh… egg?
He: Yeah, how did you fertilize mommy’s egg?
Me: Well, there’s just a special way that mommy and daddy show love to each other that makes that happen.
He: Can I watch?
Me: No, it’s private.
He: Then can I watch from the wall?
That’s as far as I’m willing to go in explaining sex to a kid that young… on the one hand, I want him to hear it from me before he hears heaven-knows-what descriptions from his peers when he starts going to school all day. On the other hand, I’m not sure he’d be able to handle all the details (or that it’s appropriate to share them at this point). I can see him sharing his newfound knowledge with someone else at an inopportune time.
So parenting pros (or even parenting novices)… how do you talk to your kids about sex? How much do you say and when?